A New Type Of Conscious Relationship

I have a question. Why do we typically reserve the function of a “conscious” relationship for romantic shapes only? It’s 2025. We can connect with beings across the globe while sitting on the toilet. You have no idea where I live, nor I you. Yet here we are exchanging energy by way of words. What’s more conscious than that?

For the many of us who have left behind relationships, communities and whole identities in service to our growth… I want to encourage you to play and experiment with shapes of functional relationships where the purpose is something other than general companionship or romance.

This is something I am experimenting with in my own life so I’ll share a few things that have been helpful for me so far.

1. Articulate Your Energetic Needs To Yourself

Did you know the heart produces the strongest electromagnetic field of any organ in the body? Your electromagnetic field can be detected several feet away from your meat and bones. Your energy is very real. That means tending to your energetic diet is JUST as important as eating food. I believe our energetic capacity as beings is beyond what science can comfortably articulate at this time. So, regarding MY energetic needs, I let my body teach me. Treacherous relationships taught my body what behavior patterns will certainly drain me. Every relationship now get’s evaluated relative to energetic cost vs. gain. Check out my list of energetic needs to help you articulate your own needs.

2. Want Something…I Dare You

I have a history of relationships where one-sided competitions existed outside of my awareness. Silly me, was unaware that some people get close to you for leverage in their private war against their sense of inferiority. While I find that behavior strange, I am a good student and also find a lesson in it.

They wanted something out of the relationship. Yes, it is an awful intention to befriend someone so you can “beat” them, but it’s an intention no less. And being intentional about what you want in a relationship can actually be useful when it’s done in the light.

Being honest with yourself about what you want in a relationship paves the way for clean relating.

Here’s some things you can want:

• A thinking partner

• A feeling partner

• A space to rehearse boundary-setting

• A space to practice skill building

• A container for nervous system repatterning

• A shadow work partner

• A place to explore power dynamics safely

• Intellectual stimulation

• Creative collaboration

• Strategic support

• Silent Presence

• Accountability

• Mirroring

• Museship

• Mentorship

And More!

3. Know What You’re Not Available For

This one goes back to knowing your energetic needs. We’ve all done relationships the wrong way. What did you learn from that? Alchemizing relational trauma into lessons is a more fruitful use of your attention than ruminating on the past. Here are some self reflections to consider:

✍️ In what ways are my failed relationships the same?

✍️ What am I tired of tolerating?

✍️ When did I last override my “no,” and when did I realize I overrode it?

✍️ What relational dynamics leave me drained, confused, or shut down? Why?

I Want To Hear From You… 🎤

What would you add to this list of wants + self reflections? What new relationship shapes are you dreaming up?