Footnotes* | When Depression Moves In, Help Her Unpack

Something got in. Something snuck into the sanctuary of my mind and fucked with my outlook. Something snuffed out my desire to steward this mission etched into my bones. Something, some heavy thing, crawled in through my attention and began dragging me down. That something is depression.

We’ve met before. She comes but she usually only brings an overnight bag. This time she brought a suitcase. I’m annoyed, but I know better than to ignore this signal. I feel slower. More tired. More sick of everyone’s shit. I feel less generous. More confused. More vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable but…I don’t look away. I look inside.

This essay is the first installment of Footnotes*, a new column for paid subscribers where I share the books shaping my thinking and the ideas I'm carrying back into real life. Right now, my mind is having a conversation with a book called High Functioning by Dr. Judith Joseph. She talks about how depression for some won’t look like depression from the outside at all.