I’ve been irritated by the conversation around light feminine and dark feminine energy for years. It isn’t because I dislike archetypes. I love archetypes. Adore them even. I hate the way we confuse, disrespect + waste the creative potential of them. Archetypes are mirrors. They are meant for you to peer into your own consciousness + discover aspects of yourself and others. They are meant for expansion of consciousness not spiritual imprisonment.
When I first began leaving my marriage, I started asking myself who I was outside of that relationship. I wasn’t yet at the point where I knew how to look inward and recognize myself, so I looked outward for examples. I consumed femininity content and found a version of womanhood built around softness, appearance, receptivity, and behavior that would probably fall under what people now call “light feminine energy.”
At the time, trying it on made sense. I had come from a relationship where my sexuality was attacked and where assertiveness, career success, and boundaries were labeled masculine. I had been repeatedly told what kind of woman I wasn’t supposed to be. When I finally rejected that definition, I went searching for another one. The problem was that the new definition was still shaped by many of the same patriarchal assumptions. The costume changed. The underlying instruction to be easy to control did not.
What we choose to embody becomes a form of expression, just as fashion communicates something about who we are. These labels can help us explore ourselves, but it should never become another authority telling us who we’re allowed to be. Wear the archetype. Play with it. Learn from it. Just remain the person who decides what it means
I Dare You To...Freak the Archetype
Grab your journal and choose 2-3 archetypes, energies, or qualities that interest you. They don’t have to make sense together. In fact, it’s better if they don’t. Maybe you choose an angel, a femme fatale, and a farmer. Maybe it’s a seductive nun with big dick energy. Stop reaching for the same boring-ass shit we’ve already seen a thousand times. You’re not boring damnit.
Combine those qualities into one character. Describe how your character looks, thinks, speaks, moves, loves, fucks, creates, or relates to power. Give them contradictions. Make them strange. Make them specific. Make them yours. Then sit back and ask yourself, what does my creation teach me about myself?
The point isn’t to discover which archetype you are. It’s to create one that could only have come from you. Feel free to share your creation below!
Want to keep going deeper? Subscribe to my premium column Intelexual for smart conversations about sex, desire, and the nervous system →
