I grew up in a highly controlled, sexually repressed religious environment. Years later, after deconstructing, I realized that so many of the behaviors I witnessed weren't random personality traits they were survival strategies inside a patriarchal system.
In patriarchal religious environments, women are often taught that direct power is unfeminine. They aren't supposed to be ambitious. They're not supposed to be aggressive. They're certainly not supposed to admit they enjoy being desired.
When a woman cannot openly pursue power, she may begin pursuing moral authority instead. When she cannot openly compete, competition becomes indirect. When she cannot admit she wants attention, she becomes preoccupied with who is receiving it.
This is why the “modesty” conversation is so rarely about clothing.
It’s about hierarchy.
Who is allowed to be seen?
Who is allowed to take up space?
Who is allowed to feel beautiful without apologizing for it?
In this episode, we unpack the hidden psychology of the "mean church girl". We'll examine the connection between sexual repression, moral superiority, female competition, and patriarchal power, and why the women policing modesty are often navigating desires they were never allowed to acknowledge. Check out the episode!
Stop Denying. Start Listening.
If this conversation made you realize how often you’ve ignored, minimized, or moralized your own desires, you’re not alone. The Desire Dares is my guided nervous system training designed to help you reconnect with what you actually want beneath the conditioning, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. Start The Desire Dares →
