The Menu of Deserving pt. 2
My grandfather always had money. How much, unknown. But he was also a notoriously…let’s say “frugal” man. Growing up, I spent my summers in New York with my grandparents and a day with my grandfather always meant lunch at Wendy’s.
I wasn’t much of a Wendy’s fan but as a kid anywhere with french fries would do (still true). I did find it odd that my grandfather always demanded we order from the 99 cent menu. Why? He could clearly afford anything on the menu so what was with the limitation? Despite being financially solid, spending money was treated like a sin.
My grandfather's relationship to money taught me that money was a thing that honorable to earn but shameful to enjoy.
This is called an over-coupling. Over-coupling is when your nervous system links things together so tightly, it treats them as the same even if they’re not.
This over-coupling creates behavior like:
🥴 Feeling uncomfortable spending money on things that aren’t “necessary”
😤 Avoiding asking for help or support because it feels like a moral failure.
😓 Feeling like you're “wasting time” if not grinding
Your thought patterns around money are never just about money. Money infects dozens of other beliefs in your psyche such as:
Ideas About Self-worth → Money mirrors how valuable someone believes they are allowed to be.
Ideas about Receiving → Nervous system reception is at play which affects receiving love, praise + pleasure.
Ideas about Power & Visibility → Having more money usually means being more visible, more responsible, and at risk of judgment.
Ideas about Spirituality/Morality → It brings up stories about god, morality, karma, worthiness, and punishment.
Ideas about Rest & Play → It becomes the gatekeeper between survival and joy. If you're not safe, you're not allowed to rest or play.
What did your upbringing teach you?
If your nervous system is carrying someone else’s money rules, it’s not your fault, but it is your pattern. And patterns can be rewritten.
My Mind over Money Course contains 12 Subconscious Programs that will challenge you to retrain how you think + feel about money.