What does it mean to belong? And more specifically, what does it cost? I’m wondering this from the outside of enmeshed systems I used to belong to. Love, looked like an ugly egregore made of undifferentiated limbs and minds. Clarity, meant severing the flesh that made me you and you me. Differentiation, was branded as immaturity and selfishness. To belong meant to sacrifice the self to feed the whole. You had to be no one in order to belong to everyone.
What intrigues me the most is the ingenious way the body can feel warmth and the mind can preserve connection even while being erased. A sweet friend, who is darkly controlling can still be experienced as lovable. A parent who shames you into doubting yourself can be perceived as protective. It’s disturbingly psychedelic and endlessly fascinating.
I pose this question to you as I pose it to myself. What does healthy belonging look like? Why as a species have we failed so miserably generating this fundamental nutrient to our existence?
I see belonging as being wanted in your wholeness. When I belong truly, there is no expectation that I should have minimal appetite for my own life. I believe a healthy sense of belonging with others cannot be generated by empty, hungry selves. Those who don’t have themselves, are disinclined to enjoy others enjoying themselves. It’s sad math.
In this past year I’ve connected with other cycle breakers, black sheep + community rejects. And I think it’s time we have our own space. I want a space where intellectual depth, creative writing and personal growth can mix + become something inspired (and dare I say collaborative).
I’ve started a private monthly writing club, where we can meet for Journaling Workshops, Live Q+A, Book Chats and whatever the fuck else makes sense for us. If introspection and self-reflection is your jam, I’d love to have you there. Join the writing club at this link 👉 Writing Club Link
-🤘🏽 Britnei Nicole
